This Good Life

Today marks one month . Twenty eight days exactly. Four Tuesdays ago, I watched my momma take her last breath . (That's surreal to think about, bizarre to say aloud, and just plain crazy to type out where it's visually set in stone.) Two years ago this coming Friday, my life changed forever.  Our whole family's lives changed forever.  And four Tuesdays ago, that change exponentiated itself. For all the goodness in the hearts of my loved ones, for all the faith, for all the behind-the-scenes servanthood, for all the love given and received...even for all of that, we still weren't protected from the shadows of this broken earth. Nor should we have been.   We just so happened to be blessed with lives of love, laughter, gentleness, goofiness -- it's true.  But that was a merciful gift bestowed upon our family that we cherished for all the years it was given. We were not promised lives of quality or continual benefits on this earth. We were, rather, prom...

My first trip to Kenya forever left a mark on my heart.  Many people from that trip will always be dear to me and cherished in a special way.  But one of the best things from the trip, hands down, is that it didn't just last the two short weeks I was there.  That trip is ongoing, moving, breathing...that trip is LIVING. When our Savior said that he is the Living Water...maybe I know a little bit more of all he means by that because of Kenya....   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One of the things our team did while we were there was visit the sick in their homes.  We walked around the community and took food to those who physically couldn't leave their house or even their beds.  We saw people in many stages, with several types of illnesses.  Almost all of them had AIDS.  Most were immobile.  Some had additional sicknesses, too--Cancer, Malaria, Tuberculosis.  It truly is heartbreaking to think that if they can't leave their bed, they can't work for th...

So.  I tried something new recently. Those who know me know that I love photography.  Granted, I'm still very much an amateur but I've been enamored by capturing moments through freeze-frame for about 10 years now.  (Whoa -- a decade!  Seems so long now that I verbalize, er, depict that little fact.)  But also, those who know me, know that the type of photography I'm drawn to is scenery/architecture/settings .  I can't help it.  I love wandering around this world and seeing things in a new light, observing places with a different perspective, looking for the beauty in the smallest stationary things.   I have never been drawn to photograph people .   Why??   I don't know.   I just haven't.  It's on the list of "things that don't intrigue me" right there along with owning an aquarium, doing a triathlon, and being a boy scout.   Yep.  That's right. Anyway.  I gue...

What?  March of 2013?   How ?  Are you suuuure...? I don't know where the times goes, honestly.  Just yesterday I was getting footie pajamas for Christmas (did I say that aloud?) and today it's [literally] springtime... It's crazy. As I get older things get faster instead of slower, that's for sure.  But I feel like so often I'm in this "in between" stage and that includes the present time. So. Let's take a moment and talk about some things that have taken place during my waiting . ~ First of all, there was a blizzard .  Like, for real.  We were prepared for a few inches of snow and ended up with 17" in a day!  The best things out of that snow-in were watching Macy bury her face in it (and her loving it), having a constant fire (it was warm but I mostly love fires for atmosphere ), getting a workout in via shoveling the driveway, and snow ice cream. ~ So then I travel a few hundred miles to a medical conference and I rented a car. ...

What does a person write about when someone they dearly love challenges death every day?  What does a person write about when they are constantly encompassing a mentality of eternal truth? No clue. I haven't blogged in a while. And that ^ is why.  I just can't seem to come up with the words to even touch the tip of what I'm feeling and thinking. And tonight isn't any different -- I still can't come up with words.  I'm actually not at all sure what these next several sentences, maybe a couple of paragraphs will entail...  Who knows!  Here goes: God talks to me a lot.  The problem is, I don't listen.  Really, not very often at all.  I'm excellent at either tuning Him out or being pre-occupied or second-guessing what I thought He might be saying. But recently, in several different ways, God has finally gotten my attention with one thing in particular. God whispers  to me, " You're walking along the path I have chosen for yo...

THIS is how I feel.  This is what I desire.  This is what I strive for.  This is how I live. Listen to the lyrics -- my hope does " only dwell in Thee ". Also, on a lighter note, laugh with my good ol' buddy Jimmy:   HERE

We have been watching a depiction of the book of Mathew on DVD, thanks to a sweet friend!  We have been SO enjoying it and enjoying the way the book is portrayed -- and especially the way Jesus is portrayed.  I know we all have such an image of Jesus in our heads.  Although each image of him is different for each one of us, I think it's safe to say that because of drawings, movies, cartoons, paintings, and more there's a pretty clear stern-faced bearded man that pops up in our heads. But this Matthew DVD is unique.  And I appreciate it.  It shows Jesus as light-hearted, goofy, funny, silly, and HAPPY!  I must admit that my first impression included some shock and skepticism.  I just wasn't expecting it.  Jesus was a teacher.  He was wise.  He was a leader.  He was serious....? The more I watched this Jesus portrayal, the more endearing it became to me.  As a (ahem) rather goofy person myself, I've always believe my God has a...

This will really be more of a plethora of thoughts thrown onto a screen, than a well-written thoughtful post. What is even going on in this head of mine?  So often my head and my heart fight each other.  One wants what the other can't have; one thinks too much and the other makes an effort not to over-feel; one is timid and one tries too hard. Sheesh.  Maybe I'd be less exhausted if the two would just cooperate. As it is, currently both the head and the heart are confused.  Both are asking lots of questions.  Both have struggled, both have been working overtime, both have said "why?".  But now my heart is now more deeply invested than my head will ever be.  My heart has broken over the past 16 months.  It's been torn apart the past 2 weeks.  But it's also grown.  It's grown closer to His own heart.  And it's still growing.  I know it'll never stop growing in the direction of my Lord, but the more I know about Him the more ...

Writing began on 1/28/13  I don't really even know where to begin. This post is for me.  It's not for anyone else.  It's for me in the sense that I'm writing for my own sanity.  I'm writing as a stress-relief.  I'm writing so I'll always remember the moments, the feelings, this time.  I'm writing so that my struggles are documented and so my thoughts can somehow become un-jumbled in my head.  This is my outlet. It's been a long past 15 months.  It's been full of tears and heartache and laughter and joy and goodness.  And it's contained more than a few moments where I live with a sinking pit in my stomach.  Now is one of those moments. It's a rude awakening . Everyone has experienced that before, I'm sure.  Your underdog sports rival rises up and totally dominates, deviated motivations in a relationship are unveiled, a cup of water to the face as a good morning (what?).  They're rude awakenings. And I'm in the midst ...

I know this is a very popular video and only getting more popular with each second!!  So anyone who might possibly be reading my blog (all 3 of you) has probably already watched this. No matter. Watch it again. More than anything I post this for myself, so that I can watch it often.  Not once.  Not a couple of times, since Kid President is stinking adorable.  But over and over so that I can be reminded of my youth, of what I have to offer to the world, of my being "not normal" and therefore not boring! :), of LIFE itself, and reminded to never stop my dreaming -- because my dreams are desires and my desires are of my heart and my heart beats for the Lord. And none of that should ever be stifled. I just want to pinch those little cheeks!  

"Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!" -- Lewis Carroll Yesterday a friend challenged me to pray for something impossible . Sounds exciting! Sounds easy. So I did that little task as soon as the gauntlet was thrown. Done! Challenge conquered. Game over. And then came the conviction. I realized that what I had done was really more of a half-hearted prayer...it was more like a wish-upon-a-star...it was more of a "hey, this would be cool but yeah, right"...what I had done wasn't a true conversation with my god. I had prayed while maintaining my invulnerability. So, I decided to stop -- slow down -- breathe -- take some more time and some more faith and truly pray for something I think is impossible . Because doing that makes you vulnerable.  And because God can work wonders through vulnerability. Being (by nature) wary, cautious, and skeptical of people and people's motivations and of...most thing...

Yes please. Because I love this movie.  And because I feel inclined to kiss a lucky egg.  And because I'll be making a one day stop in Jamiaca in March...!   'Sanka, you dead..?'  'Ya, mon'   

Today is a day for powerful words:  Those words are humbling.  Those words absolutely put our lives into perspective.  Those words should call us to a greater purpose.   And those words remind me that our God has overcome .   Praise be to Him who is alive and active in a fallen world that He loves so dearly. 

Far too often in my day-to-day life, I trudge along...I drag..I live without passion.  And I want that to change. This earthly life creates opportunities for us to live in wonder .  To live out loud.  To live with your heart.  And for your heart to go boom . Here are just a couple of things that make my own heart beat louder, beat stronger, and beat passionately.  I know my Lord smiles down at me when my heart goes boom .     May we all live daily with an excited heart that booms loud enough for the world to hear.  photo cred: pinterest

It's the 19th letter of the alphabet.  The shape of a snake.  Used in all sorts of ways.  And super important. The letter "S".   When I was growing up in youth group, we would sing the worship song "Shout to the Lord" quite a bit.  Such a good song!  However, I don't think anyone really knew what the exact words were of a specific line in the chorus... "I sing for joy at the work of your hands..." Was " works " plural?  Was " hands " plural?  Neither?  I mean, any option really makes sense....   Option A)  I sing for joy at the works of your hands. Option B)  I sing for joy at the works of your hand. Option C)  I sing for joy at the work of your hands. Option D)  I sing for joy at the work of your hand. WHAT IS IT?!??!  I remember not ever really knowing and so, to mix things up, I'd sing that line differently every time we sang the song.  I mean, that way no matter which version was right,...

The Lord is so many incredible things.  I feel intimidated trying to list them all, because He's so much more than any adjectives I can think of -- combined.  So I won't list them.  David did a good enough job of that in Psalms.  Or, you can refer to Exodus 34:5-7 (thanks, Allan). We can see the Lord moving, breathing, arranging, and loving every single day and that encompasses so many events, feelings, possibilities, and plans in our lives. But something so apparent to me in the past couple of years was reiterated this September -- the Lord is community . We are made to be with one another...supporting one another, in fellowship with one another, laughing and loving with one another.  And there is no bond from one person to another like a bond that is founded and rooted in the Lord. Just nothing like it! I have been blessed many times over to have that bond with specific people I've run across, met, encountered, loved.  I am thankfu...