With Him, it's possible

"Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!" -- Lewis Carroll

Yesterday a friend challenged me to pray for something impossible.
Sounds exciting!
Sounds easy.

So I did that little task as soon as the gauntlet was thrown.
Done!
Challenge conquered.
Game over.

And then came the conviction.
I realized that what I had done was really more of a half-hearted prayer...it was more like a wish-upon-a-star...it was more of a "hey, this would be cool but yeah, right"...what I had done wasn't a true conversation with my god.
I had prayed while maintaining my invulnerability.

So, I decided to stop -- slow down -- breathe -- take some more time and some more faith and truly pray for something I think is impossible.
Because doing that makes you vulnerable.  And because God can work wonders through vulnerability.

Being (by nature) wary, cautious, and skeptical of people and people's motivations and of...most things (except traveling), I find this hard to do.  If I don't believe in something, it takes a lot of convincing for me to openly trust.  I do that with God, too, unfortunately.  I know in my head that He's almighty, that He can do anything, that He works in ways I can't begin to comprehend...but let's be real.  He can't REALLY heal my mom completely....can He?  He can't ACTUALLY give me my heart's desires...they're too deep and too hard...right??  He can't SERIOUSLY infiltrate Hollywood with faith.  He can't TRULY heal a hurting heart with something as simple as a song.  The world is too broken.  It's too flawed.  It's too physical.  ....isn't that so??
I think these things and impossible falls to the wayside.  It's not even an option.
Doubt.
DOUBT .
These things creep in and I doubt.
Where is my raw, passionate faith?  Where is my heart-faith?

My head knows the knowledge of His awesomeness; my heart doubts it's reality at times.  Why do I [ever] put my god in a box?  Why does my lack of faith in other human's motivations vertically affect my view of our Creator?
It's silly.  But DOUBT is a real process for me.  I know better than to live that way, but I'm human.  The scariest part about it is that I don't always know when I'm doubting.  

What if I had half-heartedly prayed my wish and just left it at that? 

Absolutely, the Holy Spirit intercedes for us when we are at a loss for words to say.  But I think sometimes the devil intervenes in my prayers when he knows I already have pre-conceived notions about what my god can and cannot do.

With all that being said, I'm purposefully taking a step out of my comfort zone and back into my heart-living.  I'm going to fully immerse myself into believing that God can do the impossible.  That He can do beyond what my doubts dictate.

I'm praying for real.  

Because what I think is impossible is but a wave of the hand within the confines of His plan by the incredible God who adores me.




All of this surfaced because I was challenged.  A challenge that wasn't near as easy as I initially thought.  Thank you to Christian community for challenging me, for challenging each other.  May we constantly live with that goal of growth through togetherness.