This Good Life

There is a shift happening right now as the world readjusts and does some resetting, due to its current and ongoing circumstances. It is hard and beautiful.   There is also a deep groaning taking place.  A groaning that is easy to dismiss, because trying to hold its gaze without looking away is incomparably painful. The groaning of what shouldn’t be, but yet what is.   Today.  The groaning is extra loud today, as I hear about the stories of two college friends who both lost their mothers yesterday.  It shouldn’t be that way.  But it is.  My hurt for them both is fresh and alive.   “Grief” isn’t a word to throw around lightly.  It’s an anguish of the soul.  It lives and breathes beneath the surface of what we see on the outside. Grief is deep and multifaceted.  It shows up in unexpected ways.  It is ongoing and can be triggered by the smallest of actions.  Grief can only accurately be experienced, as opposed to just explain...

So..... We got a rabbit. As a pet. But like... a big rabbit. A GIANT RABBIT. What even is happening ??? Meet Willow!   Our Flemish Giant bunny, now a part of the family! 

We had such a special day on May 26th, 2019!!  Xan was "promoted" to the next grade at church, and with that came a big step -- HE'S NOW IN THE YOUTH GROUP!!!  We officially have a middle schooler in our house... dun dun dun. During class that morning, Xan and the rest of his group came down to the Youth Space and were introduced to the Youth Group!  During service, Xan was recognized and given a really neat teen guys Bible!  After worship, there was a luncheon for him and our family.  Xan's table was full!  Blu, me, Xan, Danny, Dolly, Mary, Stewart, Lanny, Gina, Josh Dowell, Cole, Chelsea, Sydnee, Ian.  After we got a chance to decompress and breathe for a second, then Xan got to spend the whole day with the Youth Group -- games at the gym, snacks, worship, high schoolers washing the new 6th graders feet, rock climbing at ARCH, and zombie tag!  Xan had a pretty fantastic day.  :) He has said multiple times through this week how EXCITED ...

In working with our high school Huddle the past two years, they are about to move into being upperclassmen.  And they aren't getting rid of us!!  But as their season shifts, as they change from being high school newbies to more confident, passionate students, it's such a good time to STOP.  Think.  Challenge themselves. Who are they? Who do they want to be? Allyson put together some fantastic questions to use for this purpose and this time of reflection. But the thing is -- it's not just for our high schoolers.  These are questions for ME too. Who am I? Who do I want to be? As seasons change, as I grow older, get married, have kids, dig into passions, make lifelong friends, lose friends, have side-jobs, have crazy schedules, feel drawn to the silence and calm, I want to be a little more intentional.  I want to ponder visionary questions.  I want to be full of gratitude.  I want to see where I can improve and where I've fallen short.  I...

This past weekend was our Senior Sunday at church, and man!  What an amazing group we have this year to send off with our love and tears.  During church service, we honored our high school seniors and then they had a fun banquet dinner later that evening!  I wanted to document the words that I spoke over our seniors that morning in front of the church, mostly because this is HOW I FEEL about my own future and still nonexistent kids. :) There's not even a bun in the oven yet and I've already prayed more times to God about my future kids than I can count!   For the graduating seniors of 2019, and for my own future loves:  You guys are SO LOVED!  By myriads of people in this room.  And by our Father.  Each one of you are HIS before you are ours. This church body has a job to do concerning you guys, even long after your graduation transition.  We are going to be your support, your accountability, your cheerleaders, and...

So....better late than never?!  (Posting this as we are now in the middle of marriage year 4! Eek) Our second year of marriage was a good one!  It was a year of growth, for sure, but a positive year full of love and happy memories.  We overcame several challenges in the first year of our marriage, so the second year really felt stable and a bit more like a mountaintop. We celebrated our marriage in Costa Rica (October 2016)!  Such a fun trip filled with zip-lining, coffee tasting, 4-wheeling, yummy food, RAIN, hikes, and more!  

Friday night, February 8th, Blu and I attended Night to Shine! It was the very best prom I've ever been to. Night to Shine is an event sponsored by the Tim Tebow Foundation and it was put on this year in Amarillo for the first time.  It's a lovely night for the special needs community.  Those with special needs get to dress up, be pampered, and have a night that's just for them!  We found out about this event via someone at Blu's work who said to him that it sounded like an event we would enjoy. Blu came home one evening and told me about it, neither of us having ever heard about it before, and we both excitedly agreed to do it! So Friday rolls around, Blu and I dress up and head to the event.  It was the best!  We get there and are matched up with a guest.  My buddy's name was Dani and she was my pal for the whole night!  We got her makeup done with natural shades and a slight purple hue of eye shadow (her favorite color).  Her hair ...

At the beginning of 2018, my dear friend told me about something her sister-in-law tried out the year before. I liked the idea and decided to join in. We took a vase and set it in our dining room and it was our "Blessings Jar".  The "Jar of Highlights".  Our "Jar of Blessings"?  Whatever the name is, it was a way to continually be reminded how wonderful our life truly is.  A way to be made aware of all the different and constant avenues God uses to love on us, when we usually don't pat attention to them at all.  This jar for us was an intentional way to be extra grateful for things we take for granted.  To be thankful for the people in our lives.  To document the beautiful parts of this season we are in. And so.  Below are some of our highlights from 2018.  Not all of them are listed here, because some of our blessings were written down in honest and raw ways -- a lot of what we are so thankful for is very private and special.  So we w...

There were two songs this year that will forever mark 2018 for me. Each song represents a season.  And each song gently holds feelings, complications, and some soul yearnings. In April 2018, I got some news that ripped me in half.  Sensitive news that affected every aspect of our lives.  News I wasn't prepared for; news I didn't know what to do with; news that would change the course of our lives and marriage and future.  I was at an utter loss with what to do or think or feel or how to act. So I went on a drive. I didn't know where I was going.  I didn't know anything, I just drove.  Calmly, but without purpose, I drove.  Maybe for therapy.  Maybe because I didn't know what else to do.  Maybe because sitting still in our house would not have been good for me. But on this drive, I was held.  In the midst of hopelessness and anguish, I was not alone. Holy moly, how I needed to feel that... to know I was being loved in the depths of ...