U.E.P.
So in my car the other day, a light comes on in my dashboard. I haven't even seen this light come on before and stay lit -- it's a little concerning. (Even though in a previous car, the "Check Engine" light stayed on 100% of the time and I wasn't too concerned with that....hmmm...I should rethink my priorities??)
The light is the "AIRBAG" light:
I feel like I caused the light to come on because I sub-consciously tamper with a silver strip on my steering wheel that blatantly says "Air Bag" on it... However, I was assured by multiple parties that my tampering had no such effect on causing the warning light to appear. Okay, if you say so!!
So as I'm driving down the road, this light starts to mess with my head. It's like talking to me: "Aleisha...I am red and GLARING at you...I may just be a bag full of hot air, but my deployment is not something to be taken lightly...I am alllllways watching you..." Seriously, air bag? Yes, seriously.
As a result of this one-sided conversation, I start fearing the worst. (I'm like a mother, already!!) What if my air bag shoots out at my while I'm driving, and there's no wreck? It'll just be like getting a punch in the face while driving down the highway! Not good. What to do?!
Take the car in and have it checked?
Nahh.... (not yet anyway)
Instead, I come up with the Ultimate Emergency Plan:
Step 1: Air bag deploys as Aleisha is going 75 mph down I-27.
Step 2: Aleisha shrieks.
Step 3: Aleisha steadies herself and takes the foot off the gas whilst reaching up and around the sheeted bundle of air to find the Hazard Lights button.
Step 4: Aleisha starts braking -- slowly.
Step 5: Aleisha turns aforementioned Hazard Lights on.
Step 6: Using the right side mirror, as that will probably be the only visible mirror due to a giant white mass blocking out all other obstacles, Aleisha guides herself to the side of the highway making sure to get past the solid white line.
Step 7: Aleisha might need her glasses for Step 6, as objects in right mirror are larger in real life than they appear.
Step 8: Aleisha tries to breathe.
Step 9: Aleisha turns car off and finds cell phone.
Step 10: Aleisha scolds herself for tampering with the silver bar on the steering wheel and for not taking the car in to be checked. Aleisha simultaneously gives herself a gold star for safely manipulating through and completing the Ultimate Emergency Plan.
**If you or any loved ones need a "Plan B" written for you, in any situation in life, do not hesitate to contact me. Charges for my services will only be billed if the Plan is actually utilized.**
The light is the "AIRBAG" light:
I feel like I caused the light to come on because I sub-consciously tamper with a silver strip on my steering wheel that blatantly says "Air Bag" on it... However, I was assured by multiple parties that my tampering had no such effect on causing the warning light to appear. Okay, if you say so!!
So as I'm driving down the road, this light starts to mess with my head. It's like talking to me: "Aleisha...I am red and GLARING at you...I may just be a bag full of hot air, but my deployment is not something to be taken lightly...I am alllllways watching you..." Seriously, air bag? Yes, seriously.
As a result of this one-sided conversation, I start fearing the worst. (I'm like a mother, already!!) What if my air bag shoots out at my while I'm driving, and there's no wreck? It'll just be like getting a punch in the face while driving down the highway! Not good. What to do?!
Take the car in and have it checked?
Nahh.... (not yet anyway)
Instead, I come up with the Ultimate Emergency Plan:
Step 1: Air bag deploys as Aleisha is going 75 mph down I-27.
Step 2: Aleisha shrieks.
Step 3: Aleisha steadies herself and takes the foot off the gas whilst reaching up and around the sheeted bundle of air to find the Hazard Lights button.
Step 4: Aleisha starts braking -- slowly.
Step 5: Aleisha turns aforementioned Hazard Lights on.
Step 6: Using the right side mirror, as that will probably be the only visible mirror due to a giant white mass blocking out all other obstacles, Aleisha guides herself to the side of the highway making sure to get past the solid white line.
Step 7: Aleisha might need her glasses for Step 6, as objects in right mirror are larger in real life than they appear.
Step 8: Aleisha tries to breathe.
Step 9: Aleisha turns car off and finds cell phone.
Step 10: Aleisha scolds herself for tampering with the silver bar on the steering wheel and for not taking the car in to be checked. Aleisha simultaneously gives herself a gold star for safely manipulating through and completing the Ultimate Emergency Plan.
**If you or any loved ones need a "Plan B" written for you, in any situation in life, do not hesitate to contact me. Charges for my services will only be billed if the Plan is actually utilized.**
I thank my God that He didn't have to write me an Ultimate Emergency Plan -- His one and only "Plan A" is all that I'll ever need.
Comments
Post a Comment