Heart Living

Well, anyone who would possibly be reading this blog is close enough to me to know what is going on with my mom and my family.  So no need to rehash all of that.  

And because of that, I haven't been spending much time on my own personal blog.  Rather, I've been working on this:  http://livingwithpurpose.republicd.com/

I'm sure you're all aware of that, too. 

I am overwhelmed with life right now.  We have been shocked, terrified, saddened and so much more.  My family's ordeal, still trying to process my Brazil trip, maintaining relationships, preparing for the holidays, and keeping up with work has me slightly preoccupied....

But if I've learned ANYthing in the past few weeks it's that: Faith is really a way of life.  It's not just an idea.   Not just something you can claim on a Sunday morning.  Not just something that is far off.  Or that Christian authors know about, but that doesn't affect the every day "normal" people.  

No.

Faith is all I have right now.  

There so many things about God that I've grown up knowing and being taught.  I've known things from childhood, I learned things at summer camps, I praised the Lord at ACU, I ministered to teenagers...  But everything I've ever known, everything I've been taught and have taught---all these things have truly come into play over the past couple of years in so many different ways and they're especially dominant right now.  All these things have come to life and are testing my knowledge of the Lord...knowledge of my beliefs.

  

It's so incredibly different to just believe something versus truly living it out and relying on that belief.  It's almost like mind versus heart...theory versus application...you know facts in your mind, but you live them out through your heart...and until you truly live them out, they are just ideas in your head.  

I am "heart living" right now.  

My family is "heart living". 

I hate that it takes something traumatic to stretch my faith.  And stretching always hurts.  But I think the Lord is being glorified in watching His children being drawn to Him, day by day, deliberately and whole-heartedly...and I think He's joyful that His children are [finally] completely relying on Him.  I know that our Father is touched by the pain of our family and I think He weeps with us.  But some day our joy will match His.  Some day we will see His grand plan and all the ripples that happened because of it.  

In the meantime, I will continue my Heart Living.